I wish my penis had an off switch
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
