I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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