The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
