Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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