we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
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You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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