It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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