I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize