well I can't set my house on fire every night
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Randomize
