Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
