I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
