Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
