just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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