I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
