So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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