Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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