My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
