I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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