he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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