But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
