it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
