so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.