All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.