ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.

  Fav 11 5386 833

  share tweet
  

• (626): View more from California

  i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen

  Fav 4 3241 1304

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (904): View more from Florida

  When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.

  Fav 7 2530 1214

  share tweet
  

• (786): View more from Florida

  HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.

  Fav 30 7423 1252

  share tweet
  
• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse

  Fav 5 2078 1007

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well

  Fav 2 2064 1138

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,

  Fav 14 1567 836

  share tweet
  

• (517): View more from Michigan

  I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle

  Fav 5 792 2069

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.

  Fav 3 1152 562

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (479): View more from Arkansas

  He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

  Fav 0 707 487

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Mother of the Year

  Fav 5 892 534

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (518): View more from New York

  i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself

  Fav 2 593 494

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN

  Fav 6 332 614

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.

  Fav 1 294 86

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey

  Fav 3 83 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize