Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works

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  (601): I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works http://tfl.nu/8yse
  Replies (12) Good night (1308) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  god i miss watching you do this...

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  (612): so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim.. (507): god i miss watching you do this... http://tfl.nu/jwsv
  Replies (16) Good night (5176) Bad night (833)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid

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  (630): I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid http://tfl.nu/l9sh
  Replies (10) Good night (2957) Bad night (1278)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.

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  (805): I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense. http://tfl.nu/syxd
  Replies (27) Good night (7183) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me

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  (312): I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me http://tfl.nu/3z7z
  Replies (11) Good night (4596) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him

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  (215): some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him http://tfl.nu/gsvg
  Replies (7) Good night (6156) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."

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  (248): you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion." http://tfl.nu/tkud
  Replies (12) Good night (5680) Bad night (1343)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too

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  (310): I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too http://tfl.nu/t8cv
  Replies (17) Good night (5009) Bad night (1703)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey

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  (859): i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey http://tfl.nu/w11j
  Replies (6) Good night (3227) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener

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  (647): she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener http://tfl.nu/wmbx
  Replies (22) Good night (4159) Bad night (2058)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.

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  (208): I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind. http://tfl.nu/h3pw
  Replies (8) Good night (5284) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.

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  (+64): I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked. http://tfl.nu/59qo
  Replies (5) Good night (3743) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?

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  (919): What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room? http://tfl.nu/ulxd
  Replies (4) Good night (1341) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun

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  (347): Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun http://tfl.nu/317f
  Replies (2) Good night (1110) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.

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  (307): Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me. http://tfl.nu/8ybs
  Replies (0) Good night (1373) Bad night (387)

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