My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.