Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
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Girls should come with a carfax report
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
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there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz