I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize