my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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