I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
