stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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