and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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