When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
