In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
