hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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