I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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