Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Fuck appropriateness.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
