apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize