Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
