that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
