I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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