I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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