So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize