So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think a kid would responsible me up
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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