I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
