hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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