Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
