this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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