i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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