Me too!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
