I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
