We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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