Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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