Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I want to be your penis for a week.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
