i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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