Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
