Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize