Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I licked your asshole in confidence.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
