Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i was born a porn star she said
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So much Jack, so little girl.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
