his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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