I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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