call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just had sex on a roof
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
