Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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