i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
tequila makes me forget i have legs
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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