I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
